Writing your own wedding vows may seem like a daunting task, but here are six easy steps that you can follow to help you.
- First, talk to your partner to make sure that you are both agreed on the idea of creating personalized wedding vows. Decide together whether you want to write one wedding vow that you will both say, or whether you want to write individual vows.
- Then, sit down separately in a quiet place, with paper and pen, and answer the following questions. (Even if you don’t think the answer will end up in your wedding vows, still take the time to write it down, as it will help to clarify what is most important to you in relation to this exercise.)
- What is the single greatest thing about the person you are going to marry?
- When did you know that you were in love?
- When did you know this person was the one you wanted to marry?
- What does marriage mean to you?
- What will change about your relationship once you are married?
- What is your favourite memory of your partner?
- Take time to read through a variety of wedding vows (see the examples at the end of this document or visit the private area of our website), and perhaps note some of your favourite passages from literature that seem to capture what you’d like to say in your vows.
- Now, try taking a sentence or two from literature, add a sentence or two from the answers to the above questions, and finish with a vow – a sentence that begins “I promise” or “I vow”.
For example:
“As the poet Rilke said, ‘This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love. The more they give, the more they possess.’
You are the most generous, loving, unselfish person I know. I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you […….]. I feel so fortunate that you have chosen to share your love with me, and grow old together.
Today I choose you for my wife. I promise to love and honour you, care for you, and be faithful to you, from this day forward and for the rest of our lives.”
- As an alternative approach, try filling in the blanks in a simpler vow.
(Name), you are my (best friend, true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, etc.)
Today, I take you to be my (wife, husband,) I promise you that I will be (faithful, worthy of your trust, worthy of your love, your loving partner, etc.)
I vow to (honor you, cherish you, love you, respect you, laugh with you, cry with you, support you in your goals, etc.), for as long as we both shall live.
- Practice reading what you’ve written aloud to a friend or family member, ideally someone who knows your relationship. They may have good suggestions for you, or the simple act of reading it out loud might help you identify places where you can improve. Once you’ve worked out a final version send it to your celebrant.
N.B.
If you want to create personal vows, but are struggling with the process, let your celebrant know, so that they can offer their help.
Remember your vows do not have to be the same.
At your ceremony, you can read your vows, or you can ask the celebrant to lead you with “Say after me…”
Sample Vows
- I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life, and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
- (Groom / Bride): I (Name) affirm my love to you (Name) as I invite you to share my life. I promise always to respect your needs. I will endeavour through kindness, unselfishness, and trust to achieve the warm rich life we now look forward to. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you (Name) to be my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health while we both shall live.
- I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
- I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.
- I, (name), choose you (name) to be my (husband/wife), to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
- I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.
- I offer myself to you as a partner in life. I vow to love you in sickness and in health. I commit myself to encourage you in good times and in bad. I will cherish and respect you all the days of our life together. Starting anew once again, I give thanks that I have found you. May our marriage be a gift to the world and our families, as your love is a gift to me.
- I come today to give you my love, to give you my heart and my hope for our future together. I promise to bring you joy, to be at home with your spirit and to learn to love you more each day, through all the days of our lives. My love for you is endless and eternal.
- Because of you, I laugh, I smile, and I dare to dream again. I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, nurturing you, being there for you in all life has in store for us, and I vow to be true and faithful for as long as we both shall live.
- Since I found you, I have found a new life. The decision to commit to share that life with you is one I make happily and with full confidence in our love, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
More Example Vows ……..
Your vows are one of the most important part of your ceremony and you will be asked to look at “A Guide to Writing Your Wedding Vows” which will explain how to create your own personal vows. However many couples often find one of our example vows below particularly meaningful and may decide to use it for their own ceremony, and remember your vows don’t have to be the same.
V001 – Share My Life
(Groom): I (Groom’s Name) affirm my love to you (Bride’s Name) as I invite you to share my life. I promise always to respect your needs. I will endeavour through kindness, unselfishness, and trust to achieve the warm rich life we now look forward to. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you (Bride’s Name) to be my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health while we both shall live.
(Bride): I (Bride’s Name) affirm my love to you (Groom’s Name) as I invite you to share my life. I promise always to respect your needs. I will endeavour through kindness, unselfishness, and trust to achieve the warm rich life we now look forward to. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you (Grooms Name) to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health while we both shall live.
V002 – Traditional
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
V003 – New Family
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.
V004 – Partner in life
I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life, and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
V005 – Simple vow
I, (name), choose you (name) to be my (husband/wife), to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
V006 – Falling in love every day
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.
V007 – Eyes wide open
I marry you with my eyes wide open. You have helped me let go of the past, and I embrace the future. Thank you for making me laugh again. Bless you for taking my hand as we begin anew.
V008 – Starting anew
I offer myself to you as a partner in life. I vow to love you in sickness and in health. I commit myself to encourage you in good times and in bad. I will cherish and respect you all the days of our life together. Starting anew once again, I give thanks that I have found you. May our marriage be a gift to the world and our families, as your love is a gift to me.
V009 – Endless and eternal
I come today to give you my love, to give you my heart and my hope for our future together. I promise to bring you joy, to be at home with your spirit and to learn to love you more each day, through all the days of our lives. My love for you is endless and eternal.
V010 – I laugh, smile and dream again
Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, nurturing you, being there for you in all life has in store for us, and I vow to be true and faithful for as long as we both shall live.
V011 – I have found a new life
Since I have found you, I have found a new life. The decision to commit to share that life with you is one I make happily and with full confidence in our love. Secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
V012 – Laugh and cry
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.
In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honour, and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
V013 – Irish Wedding Blessing
You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore, in skies above,
Nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company.
You to me are all these, my beloved (spouse’s name). I vow to love you like my most prized treasure, to put you in the highest place of honour and respect, to stand as your pillar of support and shoulder of strength, to cherish you and to care for you for all the days of my life.
V014 – Forever love
I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to accept you the way you are.
I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities, and outlook on life that you have, and won’t try to reshape you in a different image.
I promise to respect you as a person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own.
I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my personal world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.
I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.
And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how … completely and forever.
V015 – Modern vow
I acknowledge my love for you and invite you to share my life as I hope to share yours.
I promise to walk by your side, to love, help and encourage you.
I vow to take time to share with you,to listen and to care.
I will share your laughter and your tears as your partner, lover and friend.
I promise always to respect you and honour you as an individual and to be conscious of your needs.
I shall seek through kindness and compassion to achieve with you the life we have planned together.
V016 – Lucky to find you
Today, I want you to know how lucky I feel for having found the one perfect person for me, the one who suits me so comfortably and who gives me joy and boundless hope and anticipation for the future.
Every day we’re together, you do nothing but make me happy. The day we met was the day I became truly alive again, and today — our wedding day — I declare my love and devotion for you before the entire world.
I make a vow to stand by your side through the best and worst of times, and to give you the best of what I have from now until the end of our days.
I promise to walk by your side, to love, help and encourage you.
I vow to take time to share with you,to listen and to care.
I will share your laughter and your tears as your partner, lover and friend.
I promise always to respect you and honour you as an individual and to be conscious of your needs.
I shall seek through kindness and compassion to achieve with you the life we have planned together.
V017 – Eskimo love song
You are my husband/wife
My feet shall run because of you
My feet dance because of you
My heart shall beat because of you
My eyes see because of you
My mind thinks because of you
And I shall love because of you
V018 – I promise you these things
From this day forward I promise you these things.
I will laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams, and support you as you strive to achieve your goals.
I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. I will help you when you need it, and step aside when you don’t.
I will remain faithful to you for better or worse, in times of sickness and health. You are my best friend and I will love and respect you always.
V019 – Days of sunshine
I promise to be there when you need me, to fill your days with sunshine, to comfort you and encourage you, to help you reach your goals, to be your best friend ever, and to love you all my life, with all my heart.
V020 – Rock and confidant
Today, I join my life to yours, not merely as your husband/wife, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant.
Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life.
With you I will walk my path from this day forward.